Friday, May 09, 2003

 
I am blogging again from the Mary Gates Hall Computer Lab, got out of the Physics 122 Midterm II and I'm killing an hour because one of my physics lab partners, Mingjie, is from Sichuan and I've been trying to hook her up with the other Sichuan students that I know, and I was going to take her to the seminar today, but blah, they canceled it! So here I am, reading everyone's blogs, and making a blog myself. Blogs can honestly be so personal, you can't help but feel closer to that person after reading their blog. Steve and Aimee are so truthful and open and raw about their feelings. I don't feel like I've been doing that very much lately, actually saying what's been going on with me, probably because I've been trying not to think about it. And now I'm thinking about it, :) partly because Dan forced me to last night. I miss him so much that every time I see him on the webcam or I get to talk to him, I cry. It's a bittersweet kind of crying, the kind where you love someone so much that it's unbearable. I'm going through college crisis right now. It seems like I have SO much hinged on me getting into the Bioengineering major, and then becoming some $$$$ BioE. It's what I've 'wanted' to do for the last four or five years, all my classes that I took this year was geared towards applying for the major, the schedule that I planned for next year, my NASA scholarship, its the first words that come out of my mouth when someone asks me what my major is/going to be. But when I actually think about being the major, and doing bioE for the next 3 years, it's scary and I'm more intensely dreading going into tests and feeling like I'm going to fail and knowing that I'm not up to the standards than feeling excited to learn and looking forward to taking all of the interesting classes. I don't want to do what I'm doing now. I don't want to be where I'm at. I can't handle taking Chem E and EE next year, I HATE the sound of those classes.

Therefore, I think I'm going to switch my focus and look into double majoring in Biology and English.

Aimee's got the right idea.

Lord, this is where I'm at. I was swimming in the deep end, getting tired, no shore in sight, but then You came and heard my cry and lifted me. I'm standing on top of the water right now, looking around, I'm no longer struggling, but I'm kind of afraid to take a step. I don't know if I have the faith to walk, I don't want to sink back down. But I know it's not just me, standing the middle, but that You're there right next to me, and there's so many others there to help me, that care and want the best. In that sense, I have no right, no reason, no need to complain like this, I am so blessed. I am so weak. I wouldn't be able to make it without everything that You've given me, and that reassures me that You do have a plan for me and I want, more than anything, to glorify you in my life and thus love Your lambs. I'm at a place, where only You know what to do. Not my will, but Yours be done.

Unknown @ 3:23:00 PM

 
Whoa, crazy stuff, all of a sudden there's this influx of people that I know having blogs. Two new ones today...Irene, who has some kickin' Asian music playing on her site (if you wait for a while there's even some English) and pictures! Don't worry if some of her site comes up in funny symbols, it's probably chinese. Another one is Clement, he's aspiring to be an actor/director and currently shoots and edits a show on Channel 77...the sad thing is that UW cable doesn't have that channel.

So today, I went to bed at 2:30AMish and got up at 6:45AM just so I could go and stand in line for this:

Yeah, it was really sad, I'm sure some of the students there had been there since at least 7AM and the doors to the honors office didn't even open until 7:30AM. Yes, they force us to camp out in front of the honors office to get add codes for honors courses, it's the only way to get into these courses and the sight is quite impressive, there were probably about 100 students in a long line that stretched all the way into this corner and I had to stand in line for 1 hour in order to get that add code. Which, for safety reasons, I had to white out on the image. But eh, I really wanted to get into this course: Honors Western Civilization I: "Ancient Literary Criticism from Plato to St. Augustine" It's the third one. One really good thing that came out of the whole ordeal is that I had a lot of time to read and I ended up finishing reading Ezekiel, I read the whole time I was standing in line, then I had an hour to kill before my math class so I went and found a comfy couch and read then I read some more in the 1/2 hour before physics lecture. According to the thin New International Version (NIV) version Bible that I've been reading out of I have exactly 62 pages left in the Old Testament (OT) before I will have finished reading the ENTIRE Bible. I did skip around once or twice, like I read Genesis first, then read all the way through the New Testament (NT), then I was starting in on the rest of the OT books when I had to read Job out of order because I had to read it for English class, then about a month ago I read the book of Daniel out of order (which is actually the book that is after Ezekiel). Exciting huh? I'm not too sure what I'm going to do after I finish though...

Unknown @ 3:59:00 PM

 
Turns out, things are going quite well. Right now, I feel a little jittery because I had a tall white chocolate mocha w/ two shots and it's been a while since I've had coffee and it was gooooood, so good that my hands are kind of shaking. :D yeah. So, this is a school update. Math: Got midterm back, didn't do as poorly as I thought I would, 43/60, and I had NO idea what I was doing on like 2 but on one of them I basically just wrote down as much information that I could find and I got half credit and the other one I got 3 points out of 10. Honestly, it was definitely God's doing, for the amount of studying that I was able to do and not even understanding the last 3 sections very well, it's a damn good grade. I'm trying to learn it for real now. Anyway, the score is above average. The HW that was turned in today was so easy, I didn't stay for going over the problems instead I went to Bartell Drugstore and bought some stuff. Chemistry: Did quite decently on the midterm 20/30, which on the GPA scale that my prof made up is a 3.0, I might get another point on it too depending. Even better news is that the quiz that we had, I got a 7.5/10 but turns out that the prof is giving us all 3 more points so I get a 10/10, sadly, I'm pretty sure that they're not going to count the extra 0.5 :(, but heh, :) perfect is perfect. Physics: Yay! I got my first ever 5 on a physics lab. Lab grades are from the usual 3 to 4 and the very rare 5. Tutorial homework has been going much better this quarter than last too, I've been getting 5's on most of the HWs. The second physics midterm is this Friday though, and since I did bad on the first one, I have to do much better on this one.

Okay, enough about school.

2 new links on my list of friend's Blogs, Samantha who is rad! And Diane my sick roommate. I did have a link to her website up for a while, but since there was pretty much nothing of interest ;) on it, I took it off. Now, there is a plethora of journal entries starting from Jan. 2001. Also, another website that ya'll should check out is Steve Boyle's Site. A mutual friend of a lot of people in Haggett and CRU. Very cool guy and much respected by all. Many opportunties to kill some time. You're welcome.

Unknown @ 7:16:00 PM

 
[(Studying + Homework) - (Random bouts of Procrastination + Eating)] ^ Sick Roommate = ?

I'll get back to you on that one.

Unknown @ 3:05:00 PM

 
Why is it that sleep now feels like a waste of time? Yesterday I went to bed late and then got up late around 12:45, and today I went to bed at my normal weekday hour, and got up at around 11. Then I went to do laundry, which can sometimes be this wonderful thing and other times be this completely stressful AHHHH I want to kill someone type of a thing. Today was looking to be bad, but turned out good. You wouldn't believe the amount of calculation and decision making that goes into doing your laundry.

Unknown @ 1:24:00 PM