I am an Asian-American college student majoring in Technical Communications at the University of Washington. My Spring Quarter 05 Schedule: posTComm, TC 403, TC 407, ARCH 251, ESS 495.
All I need to do is find a PAID summer internship and I'm set!
A great Saturday. Spent time with Michael, Tian and Aimee playing croquet, we all lost to a Honors faculty person named Claire. She got pretty ahead. In fact, I think she'll be player of the month. Then Mike and I hung out and played pool and then I kicked his butt at ping-pong :). I find it's so relaxing to just hit the ball back and forth and yak. I put up just a few pictures from the most recent events.
Now. I'm going to buckle down and read my bio and do o.chem. Party hard, study hard ;)!
Unknown @ 9:03:00 PM
I finally saw Finding Nemo last night! Super cute as advertized some really funny parts and some parts are actually kind of scary...Angler fishies are not fun. It was pretty cool. What made it even cooler was the people I watched it with, a big Tri-Citian Asian reunion.
My poem of the day:
Odie
If I didn't go to Odie
to sit down and study,
I would never get anything done.
I wouldn't be able to have fun.
I wouldn't have this time to think,
to laugh, to sing; to be wild and crazy: don't blink,
you don't want to miss my fall,
like Crouching Tiger I'm flying. Giving it my all,
searching for that cloud
the one that'll hide this crowd.
I'm trying to be loud, can't find my voice,
But I don't really need it, by choice I rejoice.
Give me my cup
And I'll drink up,
how can I not? It's filled
with Your Love, pure & un-distilled.
--Feiya Wang
Yeah...I don't really like the poem all that much either. Wasn't in the zone. Just a little too scattered and sleep-deprived. Anywho, yay! I'm playing croquet today! And a ton of people are going to come and play with me! I think I'll blog again later.
Unknown @ 12:44:00 PM
I was thinking during lunch today, how frustrating it is when people blog and they use the word "someone". I mean, I can understand why, because it's a public blog, and you don't want to get harrassed, or have the "someone" be harrassed about what you're blogging about. But it's so complicated. I always wonder if that "someone" they're talking about is me, if it's not obvious. But then I think, man, I am so egotistical and self-centered, I'm sure they're not talking about me, it could be anyone...I'm sure it's someone else. And then I feel a little bad that I had the audacity to kind of assume that it was me they were referring to. I just wish I knew for sure sometimes you know? Anyway, that was kind of pointless to rant about because nothing is going to change. I mean, even I use the word "someone" sometimes to make a blog public-worthy. I'm a hypocrite. I don't know, I'm just in an annoyed mood today, for no real apparent reason. I need to cut mygrass this weekend too. I think what I'm going to go do now is sit and make a poem so I can blog it tomorrow. I need some quiet time, away from people.
Unknown @ 11:36:00 AM
The lecture was okay, had some funny parts, the guy talked a lot about the constitution and rights and stuff which went over my head, and now it makes me want to watch a few of these movies which were so heatedly fought over. But obviously, they're not worth the time, like for instance, one of them, "The Birth of a Nation", is extremely racist against blacks and portrays them very negatively and the other ones just sound stupid.
Best Minds by Lesley Choyce (part II)
I've seen the best minds of my generation zoned out
in front of Seinfeld reruns
secretly admiring George Costanza
and tolerating unimaginable TV commercials selling garbage
for the mind and body,
who finally, frustrated and angry, can only rage
at the remote control
for not being able to make the entire world go mute.
So, funny event that just happened, I was going in the side door to Haggett just now and there's this guy hunched over on his bike and holding onto some other bike. I thought maybe he was reading or something like that, but when I walked around and took a quick look back, he just had his head down on his chest and wasn't moving at all. So I have this flash of "Oh man, is he dead?" but then I see him breathing and I'm like, OH, he's just sleeping... And then while I'm walking up the stairs, it just suddenly hits me as being really super funny. So I'm walking up the stairs giggling to myself about some stranger sleeping on his bike and contemplating whether or not I should get my digi and take a picture. So, hopefully I can get in about 3 or 4 hours of studying then I'm going to go eat and go to the movie censorship lecture. If it's not over by 9 :(, I'll have to just leave.
For the poem section of today's blogs, I think I'm going to try something new. I have a few poems which are really long, and I understand that my blog is not the only blog that most people read, so I have decided to give the poem in stanzas or blocks if a stanza is too long, one per day. I really like this poem that I found, I like it because it just throws all these icon words at you, words that have come to be associated with the 21st Century with the present, with now. It's refreshing after a ton of old skool poems, the classics which talk about things which are timeless.
Best Minds by Lesley Choyce
I've seen the best minds of my generation zoned out on Windows
gone Microsoft in the head and lost like cattle
in the perimeters of happiness without a clue
as to the way back home;
who loiter in the shopping malls at lunch hour
pressing thumb and forefinger against
Tommy Hilfiger casual wear,
who can't find spare change from their fashionable pockets
for street musicians or sympathy for bag ladies
collecting Pepsi cans from the garbage.
:) So I noticed that Brent made a website, so I went and checked it out, everyone's blog was linked on his site EXCEPT MINE! But luckily, I bumped into him on the way to Odie tonight and had fun yelling at him about it. And he has very graciously fixed the odious insult. So yeah, check out Brent's Site and the Halloween pictures he has up, which look a lot like....mine.... :D
You know what I just thought of? Wouldn't it be cool if I was fluent in 1337 5p33k? W00t! Here's a comic I found about it---> COMIC. Hilarious really, even though what he says is kind of weird. Yeah, I can translate it. I'm cool like that.
Can you ever get sick of easy to make food? Cup of Noodles/Instant Lunch and EasyMac maybe, but what about the plethora of frozen dinners and canned food? I love canned corn so much. And canned soup...Mm Mm Good! :D I'm eating a Boneless Pork Rib TV dinner right now, and it's pretty good. Throw in a can of corn and it's great. I did pretty well last year on such food.
Eating Poetry
Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry.
The librarian does not believe what she sees.
Her eyes are sad
and she walks with her hands in her dress.
The poems are gone.
The light is dim.
The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.
Their eyeballs roll,
their blond legs burn like brush.
The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.
She does not understand.
When I get on my knees and lick her hand,
she screams.
I am a new man.
I snarl at her and bark.
I romp with joy in the bookish dark.
--Mark Strand
Yesterday I went to check out Parnassus, this awesome cute little cafe in the basement of the Art Building. I went after looking at the key for the Biology midterm because I was just SO sick of science and the crap that comes with it, and doing not so good on the exam and yeah. It was relaxing, I got a chance to just sit back and look around and think, but at the same time it made me sad. I ordered some steamed milk, because I didn't really feel like having coffee but I wanted something warm. Everyone there was either reading or studying or chatting with someone else but I did nothing but sit at a table and hold my milk. What made me sad was just the atmosphere. It was so incredibly artsy and teeming with creativity. There's artwork on display on the walls, which changes every 3 weeks apparently, the tables, chairs, couches, were beat up, painted, weird. Over half of the people there were wearing typical art clothes, bright, patterned, ThriftRack type outfits. Even the ones that had mainstream clothes on had a tweak to it, like big dangling earrings. I felt a little out of place there, like I was a faker, that I had lost that spark which disqualified me from that world. After a while, I felt so self-conscious that I took off my Tommy jacket and hid it in my backpack. I don't know, I wished so desperately to be part of that world again; how did I lose that eccentricity? How can I even expect to write well being so dull? What happened to me? How did I get to only own preppy clothes now? I'm so blasé! I really miss Jamey and Megan, jez, they're both such freaks (which I mean in the greatest and best sense of the word). If it weren't for them and a few others, I would have never had the pleasure of watching Rocky Horror, Rushmore, & Velvet Goldmine, reading crazy books like Catch-22, Clockwork Orange, & Sophie's World for fun, going to plays and foreign films, really looking objectively at art and going to small punk concerts in parking lots and resturants. I haven't spoken the language for a long time...I've forgotten many of the words...I'm not well versed in the new jargon.
...but it's something that I don't have the time to devote to right now. Because of science. I can only dabble in random things here and there, be on the outskirts, be that girl who tries to say something intelligent, but really doesn't know enough. Ah. The life of a scientist.
Unknown @ 7:15:00 PM
Incredible!!! I just spent a little while trying to figure out my schedule for next quarter and here's a pretty good sketch of what it'll look like:
I'm planning on taking Organic Chemistry 238 + O.Chem Lab 241, English 229, and Biology 200 + H.Biology Seminar. The horrible part is that this is a 19 credit load. Respectively, credit wise it'll be 4, 3, 5, 5, 2.
I'm excited to take it though. I think it'll be interesting. Monday and Friday's aren't too bad, so I'll get homework or whatever done then. And there's always the night....long nights.
Unknown @ 7:48:00 PM
It's pretty much official: I'm going on a Winter Break mission trip to East Asia. I had dinner with Ann who went last year, and she told me so much about it. It's incredible how much there is to do and to get ready for this. I'm just kind of in shock, it's exciting though. Everything that I'll need I'll have to get it when I go home for Thanksgiving. I might have to take one of those big suitcases, and when I'm back here, just store it in the janitorial storage area. Yeah, I guess right now I'm kind of anxious about it, because my last final is on Wednesday, the 17th of Dec. and I'm not sure when they're going to leave, but I think they might want to leave on that Monday. Which means that I'd have to take all of my finals early AND miss the Gospel Choir Concert.........I'll have to ask some more on that. I think it'll be for 2 weeks too. 2 weeks is an incredible amount of time. Wow. God is faithful.
Unknown @ 6:30:00 PM
To see the world in a grain of sand,
And Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
He who binds himself to a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
He who kisses joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise.
--William Blake
This poem for some reason, reminds me a little of Mariah Carey's song, "Butterfly"
Finally finished Heart of Darkness, a very depressing book. Kind of has a Catch-22-type feel to it, the dank, dark, absurd quiet madness.
Speaking of madness HAHAHAHA, I'm going to have Cheddar Cheese Flavored Cup of Noodles!! It's "Much More Than A Soup".
Unknown @ 12:01:00 PM
LOL, apparently, even I am not exempt from drunken college boys. Yeah, I had my door open and some random guy who claims he goes to DeVry College on Federal Way walked by and said hi so I chatted with him for a few minutes. Yes. Well, that was interesting. Thank you Rachel for coming out and telling them to shut up. Yeah, Dan, get this, the guy was saying how you and I should go over to his 1,000 acre or whatever house and party, and I was like, um, uh huh yeah. And once I thought they were going to leave, because he stuck his hand out and so I shook it but it was a bit too long for me so I had to pull my hand out of his grasp, and yeah, I'm quite sure he was drunk. Now I think I'll go to sleep.
Unknown @ 1:26:00 AM
"Speak, for my heart is full."--Emilia, Othello by Shakespeare
*sigh* I was going to 'scream and rant' on here but now I've used up all of my agitation and am just feeling like a loser. Taking this stupid biology class has been the root of much of my stress this quarter. I was supposed to wake up super early this morning and get an add code for the Thursday Honors Biology Seminar because it's the only one that doesn't conflict with O.Chem. Yeah, I completely forgot, went to bed at 3 because I was trying to finish Heart of Darkness. And yeah, the section is full because there's a lot of people taking O.Chem and Biology at the same time and I'm sure all 30 of those people in the Thursday section have O.Chem and NEED to be in that section. The only good news in all of this is that Diana (bless her heart) went after O.Chem lecture in the morning back to Honors and managed to get me 2nd on the wait list. I would have been 4th if it wasn't for her. So that is certainly a consolation. The chances of overloading are very low. The sections were only supposed to have 15 people but the Honors people managed to beg the Bio dept to double the size, and yet, it is still obviously not enough. To quote Heart of Darkness, “The horror! The horror!”
ALSO, :P my stupid internet decided to bottom up on me but luckily, I manged to get ahold of Steve and he came over and fixed the computer. Then we had fun with this really interesting program called RealVNC which is like a mini-scale version of something you'd find in like the book 1984. Yeah, it's kind of freaky, Steve DLed the viewer on my comp and remotely accessed his computer and we had fun watching his roommates and IMing at the same time. For example, here's a shot of his desktop and the message I left him before I quit the program.
The Taxi
When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum.
I call out for you against the jutted stars
And shout into the ridges of the wind.
Streets coming fast,
One after the other,
Wedge you away from me,
And the lamps of the city prick my eyes
So that I can no longer see your face.
Why should I leave you,
To wound myself upon the sharp edges
of the night?
--Amy Lowell
Earlier in the afternoon when I was composing this blog in my head, I thought of that line from "Othello", but at the time I thought that it was maybe from Hard Times, but now that I Googled it and realize that it's from "Othello", it makes perfect sense. On Halloween, I watched the last bit of Othello with Rachel, Brandon and Kyle, I saw the climax of the movie in essence, and I've studied this play three times already, I was actually in it, Mr. Deatherage forced us to read it, and finally, I watched the horrible horrible teen flick movie "O". So this older movie version of Othello was my fourth experience with the play. It's horribly sad. The play I mean.
Today has been interesting so far and it hasn't stopped yet, I just realized that I COMPLETELY missed the SPAM Poetry Event today which was from 2-3, and I feel bad about that since I was technically half responsible for the event, co-chair I suppose. Poor Austin, I'm sure he was there with his translated poem and no one else.... And another thing, I didn't get Ann's e-mail about lunch today because my net wasn't working, so sadly, I unknowingly stood someone up today for lunch.
Interestingly enough, I can't get it out of my head the sermon that I heard yesterday at Jubilee about how Pastor Tom, during a prayer meeting, cried out to God to "devastate" him so that he might know Him more. Very soon after that, he got a 64% on a very important paper which eventually caused him to fail the class, and he dozed off while driving and totaled his car. And God is very faithful and listens to prayers. Paraphrasing what Pastor Tom said, "If you want a double portion of Job's blessings, you have to be ready to go through his sufferings too." I have to admit, I wasn't 100% sure that I would be given what I had asked for, and I've always wondered what exactly is it that you do during your suffering that makes it glorifying to God? I mean, are you supposed to pretend that you're alright, that you're happy and that it doesn't bother you and just ignore it? If so, then you wouldn't even tell anyone that you were suffering at all. Which makes it like 100x worse, solitary suffering is the pits. Or is it okay to tell people, as long as you don't complain? What exactly constitutes as complaining? In any case, I am not a very good person at suffering (just read this blog for instance), which is a little ironic because I've studied it and have this strange fascination with it. Like for instance, with this book that I have, Desiring God by John Piper, the first chapter that I read was the chapter on suffering, and I usually don't like to skip around in books. I know for instance though, that when you are suffering, you should first and foremost continue to praise God and even praise Him for your circumstances. Never pin it on God, or try to claim that He's being unfair. And of course, if the suffering is a form of discipline, you should right away repent of whatever you're being disciplined for. It's a very difficult subject and one I can't get my mind around at the moment.
Unknown @ 3:44:00 PM
LOL, reading Christine's blog reminded me how I forgot to mention that I uploaded the Halloween pictures last night. The dinner last night with mostly Hanford people was interesting, but since they're all a year younger than me and went to a diff. HS, I didn't really have much to say. But I did take an interesting picture of Shiaokai looking mischievous.
A super quick blog before I go to Odie and study. Hmmm...Odie...Study. Someday I'll have to write a rhyming poem about that. Not having HW this quarter is kind of strange. Studying is a lot more relaxing and I feel like I get more done, but it certainly is neverending. But I can get a ton of studying done in one day and it's never like I'm going to run out of time, but like this week, I went this entire week without cracking open my O.Chem book once, but I read like 3 chpts in Biology. But there's stuff to read in Bio every single day, and it's so stupid because it's like I spend an hour reading the chpt then I go to lecture where they spend an hour reading bits and parts of the chpt to me. I LEARN MORE FROM READING THE CHPT ON MY OWN. Why do I go to lecture? Beats me.
Desire
in my dreams
I hold my lovers
next to me all at once
and ask them
what was it I desired?
my hands are full
of their heads
like bunches of cut roses
blond hair, brown hair, red, black,
their eyes are pools of bewilderment
staring up at me
from the bouquet
what was it I desired?
I ask again
was it your bodies?
did I hope by draping
your flesh over me
I could escape
boredom
loneliness
gray hairs shooting
towards me
from the future
like thin arrows?
did I think I could escape,
by taking your breath
into my mouth,
did I think I could escape
the responsibility
of breathing?
what did I desire in you?
sex
knowledge?
power?
love?
did I expect the clouds to
crack
and blue moths to fly out of the stars?
did I expect a voice
to call to me
saying
"Here at last is the answer."
what
I yell at them
shaking my lovers
what did I desire in you?
their ears fall off like petals
they shed their faces
in a pile at my feet
their bewildered eyes
pucker and close
centers of fallen flowers
the last face
floats down
circling in the darkness
at my feet
Fifi 
Saturday, November 08, 2003
