I am an Asian-American college student majoring in Technical Communications at the University of Washington. My Spring Quarter 05 Schedule: posTComm, TC 403, TC 407, ARCH 251, ESS 495.
All I need to do is find a PAID summer internship and I'm set!
I made another page in my IV testimony website, all about how God has worked step by step for me to let me go on my mission trip. Check it out! There's a link to it on the left.
I also went shopping downtown! Got two pairs of jeans, a sweater and some microtights, I was thinking of getting the hot orange pair, but then saw that they were $5, and thought, well, maybe I'd want to wear them with other skirts someday, so I got the dark brown color instead.
Today's poem is a mix. The work of 6 people went into writing this poem. Rachel, Brandon, Dom, Kyle, Anna, and I wrote this poem one line at a time during our brunch. It was quite refreshing. GO NASA!!! (And our adopted NASAer)!
3rd Floor Juicers We do Juice.
Yay!
We're not soused...
Every night, every flavor.
We block fire exit doors
Yay!
[Writer's Block]
And only go to one store(s).
We're monkeys who fly down stairs,
This poem is a FIRE HAZARD!!!
--Anna, Brandon, Dom, Feiya, Kyle, & Rachel
The story behind this: All of us live on 3rd floor Haggett S. and every night we go to Ian's Domain at around 10 PM (yes, every night except for movie nights when we go early) and get Nantucket Juice (& other snacks). Sometimes we have a large group and happen to stand right in the path to the fire exit door and this mean mean man comes and yells at us. What can I say? We were inspired.
Unknown @ 6:03:00 PM
Dude. I just wrote like 10 thank you cards, all in a row. Then I took a break and went to Jubilee's Praise Night. And Wendy gave me a roll of her homemade sushi!! It's totally yummy, she's a great cook! Being at Jubilee made me soooo happy! I love Jubilee so much. It's not the fact that I know a bunch of people there, in fact, I don't know most of them very well at all, I know them mostly because I've done FOT (Fellowship of Three) a few times. It's basically where you find two strangers and pick a time during the week to meet, usually over food or bubble tea or something, and you basically tell each other your testimony and also other interesting stories. People lead such unique lives.
I love Jubilee though just because of the way I can worship God and go all out.
When you worship at Jubilee, you're in your own little world, it's your own bubble, only you and your Lord.
I'm a little amazed at how my style of worship has evolved over the year and a half or so that I've been at college. I was really weirded out about the whole raising your hands thing at first and self-conscious, and worried about what other people would think. I wanted to worship all out, but was too scared. I'd be thinking for a long time, "I should raise my hands," and I want to, but I just can't do it. And then I would see some people on their knees, and just be really distracted by them because they looked too pious. I felt like they were doing it so that everyone else will notice, like a Pharisee. Horrible I know, I felt bad that I was distrusting their motives from the start; I just didn't understand the personal aspect of a relationship with Jesus. But like Rachel said once, it's so personal, it's like a PDA, but spiritual, you feel like you're intruding on someone's spiritual moment, that you're witnessing something holy, that's just between them and God. Which is totally true of course, but how do you react to something like that? It's something to get used to.
One thing that's always stuck with me was from this speech saying that when you're worshiping, praising and singing, it's like you're kissing God. The words & praise that comes from your lips, they're kisses, an offering. The image is just so ineffably beautiful. '
So I really enjoyed that, and then I went to IV's Christmas party, on the way over from Jubilee I bumped into Aimee and her friend Olie and managed to drag Aimee to the party. The party was pretty fun, the white elephant gift exchange was a little disorganized and strange, but I got a good gift, a bottle of hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works. I'll try to take only one or maybe two on my trip this winter. Lotion will probably be more useful. But anyway, then after that we jumped rope!! Yay for that! Ahhhhh, that was super cool. I wish we had another rope though, cuz then we could do double dutch!! Then I got in some DDRing in Tian & Brent's room and also Tian read some short Chinese stories and a poem to me. It was fun. Watched a crazy "Soup Nazi" Seinfield episode. Sometimes I wish I watched more TV. I think.
Unknown @ 1:41:00 AM
I remember my uncle talking slowly and drawing pictures to explain
why my father's heart wouldn't work anymore,
why it needed to be fixed.
He drew dark waxy red and blue shapes
He told me I was very brave not to cry
I remember swallowing tears and hiccups in the dark
I remember being afraid of my crayons.
--Harmony Marie Potts
This poem is from the 2000 Bricolage issue and just gave me shivers when I read it. Little kids take so much stuff literally. They don't need to read between the lines, guess, speculate. They just take it as it is, whatever comes out of your mouth becomes your truth, their truth.
I don't know what to wear tonight. Honestly, right now I don't really even feel like going to either events. I just want to get my thank you cards written, catch up on my biology reading, and also o.chem and also write the 1 page rough draft for English. Clean the room, do laundry. Sleep. Be warm and dry. Not worry. Be myself, not self-conscious. I think Diane's sentiment is rubbing off on me, I'm feeling anti-social. But it's too late to back out now, as tempting as it is. I'll just try to work hard Sat. morning and all day Sunday.
*flexes my time management muscles* Breathe in, breathe out.
Unknown @ 3:08:00 PM
I'm superbly excited to be a one of the readers for Bricolage, the UW Literary and Arts Journal. You should all submit some piece of writing, be it a short fiction, or poetry! Even art and comic strips are being accepted. The only problem is that it's during Winter Quarter, which is already looking extremely tight time-wise, especially if I'm still going to do tabling. Bible Study=1 1/2h, Large Group=1 1/2h, Tabling=1h, Bricolage=4-6h, Class=14h, Lab=9h, Jubilee=2 1/2h. Per week of course. So if I count in eating time=14h, & sleeping time=49h, bathroom/shower=9h, it all equals to 105 1/2 hours out of 168 hours total in a week. And I haven't even factored in the most important thing, talking with Dan. And then what about blogging, e-mailing and keeping up in general with the world? And oh yeah, that thing called homework. Nonetheless, I don't really think much will change :) Maybe I'll start blogging less.
Unknown @ 2:05:00 AM
You are the light of the world
A city on a hill cannot be hidden
Shine your light before all men
That they might see your works and then
Praise your Father up in Heaven
A city on a hill cannot be hidden
Standing tall before all men
To show the things that it's been given
And everything that it can give
Just like that city on a hillside
We got a light that's deep within us
No, don't keep it to yourself
Just remember how you felt
When you first gave your life to Jesus
And I know that our salvation isn't in the things we do
But it's only given by the grace of God
By the sacrifice of Jesus, and if we really did believe
We were born to share this message with someone
Yeah...I think this'll be today's poem :).
Unknown @ 1:24:00 AM
I had the urge last night to save all my blogs onto my hard drive and I did so, copying all of them into a .doc. The font is pretty big and there's a bunch of pictures interspersed but the total # of pages that it came to was 210. Yeah 210 pages.
So it seems like for the last few weeks, the Saturday poems that I write, all have some kind of repetitive nature about them. What's up with that? I usually don't like being stuck in a rut. It's something you can't help though sometimes, a style that permeates through a chunk of poems. Like for a while, I had a thing with spelling things out with the first letter of the lines, which I enjoy because it's like a little bonus for those who read the poem closely. And I wonder sometimes if someone who read one of my poems can tell that I was the one who wrote it, like I can with some people. Poetry and painting by Jamey I usually have a feel about and I can tell. And then once at the Richland Library, I was reading through a bunch of poetry about "What I Hold in My Hand" or something of that nature, the Reflections contest, and I read this poem and while I was reading it I was thinking, man, this really reminds me of Zach's poetry, just the style, the flow, the sentiment...and lo and behold, when I got to the bottom, there was the author's name. I don't usually see anyone else's poetry or artwork elsewhere, or I'd have more of a chance to test just how well I can connect the artist with their work.
Trust
We met each other through our minds and souls
And as I hear you talk and I hear you laugh no
One knows the joy you bring to me just listening to
You what can I say it sounds so sweet, like a sweet
Serenade I know you do not practice promiscuity cause
You’re not like the majority I love your personality
Unlike no one else cause I love you for you and I know
You love yourself your dreams goals and fantasies are an
Inspiration to all the souls I trust you like I should I want
You to feel the love in my heart for you I would for all I
See I love you for you and I want you to love me for me
So hear me say that I love and trust you in each and every
Way your heart is like a big diamond in the sky up so far up
So high so please remember I will always love you unconditionally
Cause you will always be my own and beloved sweet honey
--Simon Hadley
I love this poem, not only because it's sappy and romantic and cute and naive...but because it has no punctuation, it's that out of breath feeling and you're so excited that you don't take the time to breathe. The breathing is more like necessary gasps before plunging back into speech, rather than calm, calculated pauses. There is no pauses, love does not wait.
Unknown @ 5:45:00 PM
Take a look at my calender, there's more than enough things going on to keep you from being bored!
For this following poem, I'd like you to come up with your own idea of what it means. What storm is promised? Why will even the survivors die?
Choosing to Think of It
Today, ten thousand people will die
and their small replacements will bring joy
and this will make sense to someone
removed from any sense of loss.
I, too, will die a little and carry on,
doing some paperwork, driving myself
home. The sky is simply overcast,
nothing is any less than it was
yesterday or the day before. In short,
there's no reason or every reason
why I'm choosing to think of this now.
The short-lived holiness
true lovers know, making them unaccountable
except to spirit and themselves--suddenly
I want to be that insufferable and selfish,
that sharpened and tuned.
I'm going to think of what it means
to be an animal crossing a highway,
to be a human without a useful prayer
setting off on one of those journeys
we humans take. I don't expect anything
to change. I just want to be filled up
a little more with what exists,
tipped toward the laughter which understands
I'm nothing and all there is.
By evening, the promised storm
will arrive. A few in small boats
will be taken by surprise.
There will be survivors, and even they will die.
I originally started this blogger site as a "Mass IM", and it has served its purpose, somewhat, but I think generally I've been leaning more now towards using it as a daily writing exercise and excuse to find cool poems. Not necessarily for the entertainment of those who read this. Is the success of a blog determined by how many comments are posted? Or by the kind of thoughts provoked in its reader? Or by how satisfied the blogger is about just being able to have a medium to spew out thoughts?
Yay!! My knife came in the mail! No, I didn't order another one, this is the same silver knife that Dan gave me. How then, you ask, did it end up getting mailed? Oooo, I feel a story coming on.
So. I flew home for the Thanksgiving break, and I was really hoping I didn't forget anything. Christina and David gave me a ride to the airport, dropped me off at the entrance to the United Airlines check-in place and I used the handy e-ticket machines to get my ticket. Checked in my one baggage and then headed towards the security. It is general policy now that besides taking off your watch and any keys, you have to also take off your shoes and your coat. So I go through the first time and the metal detector goes off. I back through and the guy on the other side was like, maybe you should try again, but then the guy across the counter who took all my belongings was like, "Um. What's that in your back pocket?" *cold sweat* uh oh. I hand it over and he opens my knife which I had forgotten to take off and yeah, it looks pretty big. They call the lady in charge over and she's like, you have a few options...if you have someone outside, you can give it to them, or if you have other luggage you can check you can put it in there...OR you can mail it back to yourself for a flat $6. So yeah, I had to pay six bucks so I could get on the airplane and keep my knife. :P I felt so embarrassed, luckily I didn't get in trouble though, but just imagine, I could have totally been shot if I had done something like, what? Oh you mean this knife? And like opened it or something. Or what if I had hid it? Anyway, it's all resolved now and I will try not to forget next time. :D
Also, a few pictures from Thanksgiving are up! One of them is of Anna's engagement ring! Yup, Dan's cousin just got engaged. It was really funny, she's sitting there knitting and I notice this really large shiny ring on her ring finger, and it takes me a few moments to make sure that it's what I think it is, and then I just casually turn to Todd and Anna and go, "So when did you guys get engaged?" This was because I thought I was the last one to know about it, BUT apparently they were planning on making the announcement later. They said something which made me realize they hadn't told everyone (i.e. Dan, Dan's mom and brother) yet so I like totally flip and squeal OMG!! Which made everyone turn and look over ;). I'm super happy for them, so then this summer I'll be going to that wedding.
Unknown @ 8:50:00 PM
Hey, I found that quote which Pastor Shin read last last sunday.
"You never despair because despair is a paralyzing emotion. You simply grit your teeth and continue to fight the good fight..." --Steven Lewis
Most of today was spent in bed, taking a nap. I slept like 3-4 hours. And no, I don't think it'll make it hard to fall asleep later tonight, no, not at all. I was so exhausted, I'm not sure what from, but I was. Like in English, my prof was reading this poem and right in the middle of the reading, I almost fell forward and hit my head on my desk because I fell asleep. I hate it so much when that happens, because I don't even notice it, it's scary because it's like I lose a few seconds between the moment I close my eyes (which I don't realize I do) and the moment I jerk awake. Really horrible. I think I feel better now anyway...I still can't wait to get into bed tonight, but I think I'll be able to survive Gospel choir.
Stopping by Woods On A Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it's queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
--Robert Frost
I'd like to imagine this poem as a happy one, that he's not traveling near the end of the day, but rather mid-morning, and it's been a few miles since he's had breakfast, so in the bright morning, he's taking a little break to enjoy the snow falling. However, I don't think that's the case, which makes it kind of scary and depressing. I mean, why does watching the woods fill up with snow in the dark evening entrall him so? Especially when he still has a lot of distance to cover in the dark. Maybe he really doesn't want to get where he's going, like home, like he regrets the promises he made and now has to keep which make him unable to linger as much as he would like to. Even his horse thinks he's messed up.
It's the onslaught of winter...cold, wet, dark, and finals.
Unknown @ 5:05:00 PM
OH YEAH! I'm making great strides in my goal to not suck at Smash Bros (64 version). Dan rocks for teaching me the ropes over the weekend because I was complaining so much about sucking. He had to watch me panic and then fall off the stage many many times.
Another thought, when I was taking off from the Pasco airport, I noticed that there's a golf course right next to the strip. Why? I mean, maybe it's far away enough that the winds from the landing and taking off don't affect the game, but certainly, it's pretty loud! How are they supposed to concentrate? Eh, I guess maybe it's like the Olympics people who train high up in the mountians to make good use of the fact that your lungs have to work harder and so they get stronger due to the extra stress. Thus, playing golf next to a loud airport is an added stress, so that when it's dead quiet and someone coughs, you don't miss a beat.
Unknown @ 1:05:00 AM
I stumbled upon this poem and it immediately made me think of "The Dead Poets Society" movie with Robin Williams. Sigh. A sweetly sad beautiful movie. Defiance at it's best. It's things like these that make me love English. The feeling I get when I finally finish an essay, and it's taken me hours, and I know it's damn good, it's unparalleled. You can't buy that kind of exhausted, but happy and defiant satisfaction. Defiant because you know that you thought outside the boundaries; that this paper exceeded even your own expectations and hopes.
O Captain! My Captain!
O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Fifi 
Saturday, December 06, 2003
