Saturday, June 19, 2004

 
Today was a lot of sun. Went to the Dragon Boat Festival, which from what I experienced of it, was mostly a bunch of asians having a potluck in the park. Threw my crappy frisbees around and listened to all of the little kids play the violin (not crappily). Eh, I'd put some pictures up, but I'm too tired to put in the effort.

Afterwards, we all went to driving around and walked lots until we finally settled down and starting casting some lines...some of which actually went into the water. Both Diane and Christine had problems with trees, and Diane also with the umbrella. The guys did well, although Steve got a little too fresh with some of the rocks and ended up with a wet and dirty butt. And then we went to the Atomic Ale for dinner where Cindy joined us. Ahhh, the joys of eating out. Fairly productive Sat. I suppose. Lots of chilling out in the hot hot sun and getting some funky tan lines because of my funky sandels. :P Those damn fish were being a tease, jumping like crazy and eating all the worms but not the hook!

Unknown @ 10:44:00 PM

 
Tear(s)

For who
For you?
For me?
Sick at heart
Mentally unstable
All of the words run together
chasing
melding my joints
I'm not a skeleton anymore
Just a gingerbread woman
Go ahead, bite my head off.
Listen to my soundless scream inside your head;
in your stomach.
I don't speak clearly in this form,
but it's clearest to me,
Don't think
Feel.
Why am I not giving up?
Hope
maybe in a shimmery wisp of a dream of happiness,
maybe in your hope,
and so it goes on.

Unknown @ 12:41:00 AM

 
So say you did something stupid and hurt and pissed a friend off...and then you didn't feel sorry, in fact, you don't feel anything. The next day, on top of being sleep deprived, you get your period (girls only). The logical thing to do would be to blame that weird emotionless state on PMS. But I fundamentally find something wrong with doing that. I hate the what almost seems like a rumor/old wives tale that women get all pissy and bitchy when it's around that time of the month. So I dislike even mentioning it because it sounds like an excuse. But at the same time, isn't it misleading the person in a sense? And sadly, I actually have a few cases where I've acted really messed up the day before I get my period, like once, Dan was sitting in a chair and I was sitting on the ground and I had my head against his legs and all of a sudden I just started crying and I just cried into the side of one of his legs, just sitting there on the ground. Really quite unexplainable, there wasn't really anything to trigger it, I mean, maybe the fact that I think around that time someone was going to leave, but there was still like a few months before. Anyway, this train of thought was much much clearer when I was brushing my teeth a few minutes ago and now I'm kind of muddled...maybe some rest will cure up this funk.

Unknown @ 11:41:00 PM

 
So even though I did the Cardio Kickboxing workout thing for 75 minutes, I don't think I'll be sore tomorrow. It was pretty intense though, we did it in a room with mirrors and man did I look stupid for a while but it's a lot like dance actually, it's really cool when everyone does everything all together. I actually sweated too and we did some moves that were extremely painful so I didn't do them ;). Gotta take it easy the first few. I was SO tired this morning though, had to read a manual for the MicroGrid II. I learned how to make Tomatos cooked with Eggs (rough translation of Chinese name) today! Took extensive notes. One small step closer to living on my own!! :D When I get up to college I'll have to try it at someone's apt ;).

Unknown @ 8:34:00 PM

 
Today, was the first day of work out at PNNL. I made it from my driveway to the visitors parking lot of the ETB building in TWELVE (12) MINUTES. *takes a bow* Yes, I was quite proud of myself. Green lights all the way, going just slightly above the speed limit...;). Otherwise, the day went pretty well, a small mishap with the TOP SECRET PASSWORDs, but it was resolved. Then afterwards I got a 3 month membership at the racquet club. Got a tour of the place and shall start working out tomorrow after work. :) Yes, I am going to try to make it every day after work, quite possibly even on Saturday. The newness of trying something completely foreign (like an aerobics class...or like tomorrow, Cardio Kickbox) makes me feel happy and confident. I haven't felt this giddy "hahaha, I've never done this before" type of a feeling since I went to that frat party and pole danced. And to a lesser degree when I hopped the bus with a nearly complete stranger for the partner massage class, and to a pretty decent degree last year when I signed up for and found the place where I did my day's volunteer for the MLK Jr. Day of Service. I felt like this when I ordered a sandwich for the first time from Boss Tucker. When I sent away for college information during my sophomore year. When I played softball for a season in 8th grade. Of course, it also kind of clues me into how much I value my individualism. I am not one to be stifled, however clingy I may be. I love beautiful things. Not only because they are pleasing to the eye, but because of the surge of emotion, whether it be melting, elated, hungry or awed disbelieving, that's what makes it true beauty. When you feel like you could have it in front of you for hours yet never grow tired of it or find all its little nooks or really appreciate it. When you just want to sit back and bask in its warmth because you know it's something that is too beautiful to be contained so it's pointless to try to memorize the moment, greedily suck in as much as possible to goad over it later. I know what I want to do with my blank canvas. I've had this blank canvas for years. Too bad I have to be at work at 8 tomorrow or else I'd paint it right now. Did I mention I watched the movie Amélie? I want to be like her. Definitely a movie I'll have to watch again. Sigh, what more could I want from life? I've shot a gun, stolen numerous unique traits from the boys I've known, traveled to distant lands, read over a hundred books, loved, been loved, collected postcards, comic strips, magazine and newspaper pictures, danced like there's no tomorrow and realized that most things in life sound much much more interesting on paper. And I apparently have no good full body pictures of myself.

Unknown @ 11:50:00 PM

 
Got back from Portland! Finally! There was a lot of backtracking after we sent David and Grandma off to their D15 Gate, first to Costco, then to the mall. But many things were bought and we all had Dim Sum and went to Walmart before going to the airport. It was very good, I got some more clothes, two more shoes and was thisclose to getting a key chain, but decided to go with a cute pair of shorts instead...they're more like boxer shorts but lol, I know two people at least who will appreciate it, not only because they're short but because of the logos on it. And I went to Forever 21 after reading about it on Christine's blog and it does have some cute stuff and a LOT of those incredibly short skirts, which interestingly, are usually either made of that crappy sweatpants-like material or jean. Those will never be added to my wardrobe because I swear, it lowers your IQ. And besides, you can't bend over. Anyway, I got two tanks for $9 and it was good. Ahhhh, what am I going to wear tomorrow?! Hopefully I'll hop into bed sometime soon here...get more than my usual 6 hours...yeah, right.

Unknown @ 9:41:00 PM